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<3 [Jul. 15th, 2006|02:29 pm]
[Feelin' Kinda |apatheticapathetic]
[Listening To |*Mellowdrone-Whatever the Deal*]

is my whole summer going to be like this?

i don't really have the energy/time/patience to hang out with anyone
even though i want to...sort of

i just want to leave and get my fucking life started already

as thomas from service deli says:
"yeah you people from orange county are pretty fucked up" (he's from wisconsin)
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i hate everyone [May. 10th, 2006|06:36 pm]
[Feelin' Kinda |pissed offpissed off]
[Listening To |*Failure-The Nurse Who Loved Me*]

seriously why is everyone so fucking gay? i don't understand it. i guess i'm just better than everyone else, not really but i'm furious right now so just go with it.
here's how my day went:
went to first three classes
ditched before tutorial with anjie, went to subway, visited ryan and hector
picked up maria, picked up jaci
went to my house to watch a movie
dropped off maria and anjie
picked up alex at school
dropped off alex at work
went to starbucks
went to school, took IB history test, not as bad as i thought it would be
go to car to take tanya home, go to library, then back to my house to wash my car with jaci but...
i locked my keys in my car...sooo....
call my dad and he comes to the rescue to let me borrow his keys to get my door open, tanya already left with somebody else, amy the saint, cause my dad was "taking too long"
go to the library and this is where the real fun starts, turns out jaci needed to be in RSM in thirty minutes for tutoring but it didn't matter right? cause it wouldn't take long to get my passport right? WRONG! the dumb bitch tells me that i needed my birth certificate, i tell her i don't cause i'm only getting it renewed and she said nope, you do need it. so i leave thinking ok i'm just retarded i guess i read it wrong. drop jaci off, go home pick up birth certificate go back, fill out paperwork after the lady said oh i'll put you at the front of the line, let me know when you're done filling that out. so i do just that, then she tells me to get my picture taken so i do, then sit back down and do as i'm told......so i wait there patiently like i normally do cause i don't like to piss people off or complain about service etc. etc. but an HOUR goes by and people who came in way after me already left so i walk up the lady (who was fat and ugly by the way) and say....so why haven't i gone up yet? she says oh i told you to come up here when you were done. yeah i did...then you told me to take my picture. did i hear you? yes you did. oh i guess i didn't hear you, i'll put you at the front of the line.
two minutes and 107 dollars later i was done with my passport business and guess what?! turns out i DIDN'T need my birth certificate because i WAS getting it renewed you dumb fucking bitch.

then a fucking dumbass hit my car in the parking lot and said "oh i guess we hit each other"
no you cunt, you hit me.
as i kill myself
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the time has come my little friends... [Apr. 29th, 2006|09:19 pm]
[Current Location |*Chemical Brothers-Galvanize*]
[Feelin' Kinda |anxiousanxious]

okay, these are my plans...first it was leave in july, then leave in july with josiah, then leave in july with kristen, then leave in august with kristen, then leave in august alone...but now these are the actual plans

leave in july for a month with josiah (jealous? you fucking should be)
we're leaving on the 7th
i quit my job in june (holy shit next month!)
spending a few weeks in ireland staying in youth hostels (even though josiah is not a youth)/granny's house
flying/taking a boat to england to stay with my aunt and her boyfriend
go back to ireland
go home

in august i'm going to davis for a few days
come home

who's stoked? this kid...
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stoppppp! [Mar. 31st, 2006|09:01 pm]
[Feelin' Kinda |confusedconfused]
[Listening To |*Ugly Casanova-Smoke Like Ribbons*]

took today off, as it was much needed. last night i had some weird nervous breakdown or something.
they're not as much fun as you'd think.
just a lot of crying...and not being able to talk...
and mascara running down your face.

i really want to go out but my mom is really against it at the moment. she says that i'm out too much, i run around doing work/school/picking up people blahblahblah, and that i have a dependency (this is a quote) on technology which disturbs her. she wants me to just take it easy and not have my phone on me all the time and be online at all hours cause it makes me seem like i'm on call or whatever. she's just worried that i'm never going to be able to appreciate silence or be able to relax when i want to and that i'll need to depend on drugs or alcohol to relax then i'll become an addict etc.

she's right...but i really do love going out and being busy. i don't know how not to be doing something.
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so i've already said this but... [Mar. 28th, 2006|08:28 pm]
[Feelin' Kinda |sicksick]
[Listening To |*Wolf Parade-I'll Believe in Anything*]

again...it seems that i am falling apart.
everything is weighing down on me and fuuuck i just don't know how to deal

unfortunately for me, all the mental stuff has started to effect (affect?) my physical state of being. crap.
this is like a cold to the EXTREME!! but in no way exciting...
stuffy nose + having to use my inhaler + weird voice + coughing uncontrollably + fucked up eyes = death.
and i can't skip school this entire week either to just sleep and get better...fuck IB orals, they're making me ill.

thanx a lot stupid program...thanx a lot.
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(no subject) [Mar. 26th, 2006|06:09 pm]
[Feelin' Kinda |embarrassedembarrassed]
[Listening To |*Hidden in Plane View-Bleed For You*]

i'm pissed/embarassed that i had no choice but to purchase a Cher song off of iTunes to put into tanya's, shea's, and my video for humanities...

there was just no other way...it had to be done
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*he walks the razors edge* [Mar. 14th, 2006|07:38 pm]
[Feelin' Kinda |distresseddistressed]
[Listening To |*M.S.I.-Kill the Rock*]

oh god...they found me....
i'll return and explain....

that was a close one, i just realized that i'm very much like a cat when i'm around certain people. if that makes any sense at all. when i get home i say hi to everyone then quietly slink upstairs and hide...
and in explaining what i wrote at the beginning, my family and i (including blake-ins) were hanging out at home and the door swings open and our neighbors walked in, or more...they screamed-in if that's at all possible. i love this family, we've been neighbors since before my brother was born, when we moved from our old condo they followed us here a few years later..how cute is that? and they have three adorable kids who i've known since they were all born but....

they tend to scream and yell a lot

and that makes me nervous. so what do i do?

i RUN upstairs and hide. sad? very, but i don't care. then they ran upstairs and i was thisclose to hiding in the closet...then my mom yelled at me to come downstairs so of course i had to, ah well, they're cool...i just feel meh i dunno around them, and others i guess.

it was just a weird observation that i had of myself today.
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(no subject) [Feb. 11th, 2006|10:39 am]
[Feelin' Kinda |amusedamused]
[Listening To |*The Spill Canvas-All Hail the Heartbreaker*]

i'm falling apart
and most of it is my fault :/

last night i got yelled at by my mom cause i never take my contacts out and now my eyes are all bloodshot and it's really hard to see...
i cannot stop coughing (ask keyana...she knows)
my head is throbbing
my throat hurts also.

woohoo, hopefully i don't hafta go to the doctor about my eyes
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i don't like reggae...i LOVE it! [Feb. 7th, 2006|07:11 pm]
[Feelin' Kinda |lonelylonely]
[Listening To |*Sondre Lerche-Track You Down*]

trying to avoid mark
which is sad because he's really nice, cute, funny blah blah blah

but...i just feel weird around him.
keyana made me a weird stick-like contraption today with my name, two hearts, and a unicorn on it
got all my stuff to do taxes
the fuckers are only giving me back like 200
krucli apparently "worries about me"...he says i'm "falling off the edge" and that i'm a "punk rocker"...

doing a reenactment of a scene from Hamlet with tanya maddi allie and nicole, i suggested doing a monologue...having allie and nicole reading the part together while maddi tanya and i would repeat certain words in the background with a sweet interpretative dance. oh yea i forgot the best part of it: we're beatnicks (sp?)

i'm way stoked

down came the sky and all you did was blink
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X-Mas [Dec. 26th, 2005|05:39 pm]
[Listening To |Ugly Casanova *So Long to the Holidays*]

i should definately be trying to finish up my stupid World Lit. 1 paper but I haven't got the heart or the energy to do it. So I'll put it off for another day and spend my time on livejournal and myspace...

my dad got my brother a unicycle....good job dad this is only going to end in blood and tears, lots of them. i have nothing else to say really, i just think that the unicycle thing is hilarious

im gonna go check my myspace now...
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