| <3 |
[Jul. 15th, 2006|02:29 pm] |
| [ | Feelin' Kinda |
| |  apathetic | ] |
| [ | Listening To |
| | *Mellowdrone-Whatever the Deal* | ] |
is my whole summer going to be like this?
i don't really have the energy/time/patience to hang out with anyone
even though i want to...sort of
i just want to leave and get my fucking life started already
as thomas from service deli says:
"yeah you people from orange county are pretty fucked up" (he's from wisconsin) |
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| i hate everyone |
[May. 10th, 2006|06:36 pm] |
| [ | Feelin' Kinda |
| |  pissed off | ] |
| [ | Listening To |
| | *Failure-The Nurse Who Loved Me* | ] |
seriously why is everyone so fucking gay? i don't understand it. i guess i'm just better than everyone else, not really but i'm furious right now so just go with it.
here's how my day went:
went to first three classes
ditched before tutorial with anjie, went to subway, visited ryan and hector
picked up maria, picked up jaci
went to my house to watch a movie
dropped off maria and anjie
picked up alex at school
dropped off alex at work
went to starbucks
went to school, took IB history test, not as bad as i thought it would be
go to car to take tanya home, go to library, then back to my house to wash my car with jaci but...
i locked my keys in my car...sooo....
call my dad and he comes to the rescue to let me borrow his keys to get my door open, tanya already left with somebody else, amy the saint, cause my dad was "taking too long"
go to the library and this is where the real fun starts, turns out jaci needed to be in RSM in thirty minutes for tutoring but it didn't matter right? cause it wouldn't take long to get my passport right? WRONG! the dumb bitch tells me that i needed my birth certificate, i tell her i don't cause i'm only getting it renewed and she said nope, you do need it. so i leave thinking ok i'm just retarded i guess i read it wrong. drop jaci off, go home pick up birth certificate go back, fill out paperwork after the lady said oh i'll put you at the front of the line, let me know when you're done filling that out. so i do just that, then she tells me to get my picture taken so i do, then sit back down and do as i'm told......so i wait there patiently like i normally do cause i don't like to piss people off or complain about service etc. etc. but an HOUR goes by and people who came in way after me already left so i walk up the lady (who was fat and ugly by the way) and say....so why haven't i gone up yet? she says oh i told you to come up here when you were done. yeah i did...then you told me to take my picture. did i hear you? yes you did. oh i guess i didn't hear you, i'll put you at the front of the line.
two minutes and 107 dollars later i was done with my passport business and guess what?! turns out i DIDN'T need my birth certificate because i WAS getting it renewed you dumb fucking bitch.
then a fucking dumbass hit my car in the parking lot and said "oh i guess we hit each other"
no you cunt, you hit me.
as i kill myself |
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| the time has come my little friends... |
[Apr. 29th, 2006|09:19 pm] |
okay, these are my plans...first it was leave in july, then leave in july with josiah, then leave in july with kristen, then leave in august with kristen, then leave in august alone...but now these are the actual plans
leave in july for a month with josiah (jealous? you fucking should be)
we're leaving on the 7th
i quit my job in june (holy shit next month!)
spending a few weeks in ireland staying in youth hostels (even though josiah is not a youth)/granny's house
flying/taking a boat to england to stay with my aunt and her boyfriend
go back to ireland
go home
thennnn
in august i'm going to davis for a few days
come home
september-college
WOWZERS
who's stoked? this kid...
<3 |
|
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| stoppppp! |
[Mar. 31st, 2006|09:01 pm] |
| [ | Feelin' Kinda |
| |  confused | ] |
| [ | Listening To |
| | *Ugly Casanova-Smoke Like Ribbons* | ] |
took today off, as it was much needed. last night i had some weird nervous breakdown or something.
they're not as much fun as you'd think.
just a lot of crying...and not being able to talk...
and mascara running down your face.
i really want to go out but my mom is really against it at the moment. she says that i'm out too much, i run around doing work/school/picking up people blahblahblah, and that i have a dependency (this is a quote) on technology which disturbs her. she wants me to just take it easy and not have my phone on me all the time and be online at all hours cause it makes me seem like i'm on call or whatever. she's just worried that i'm never going to be able to appreciate silence or be able to relax when i want to and that i'll need to depend on drugs or alcohol to relax then i'll become an addict etc.
she's right...but i really do love going out and being busy. i don't know how not to be doing something.
<3 |
|
|
| so i've already said this but... |
[Mar. 28th, 2006|08:28 pm] |
| [ | Feelin' Kinda |
| |  sick | ] |
| [ | Listening To |
| | *Wolf Parade-I'll Believe in Anything* | ] |
again...it seems that i am falling apart.
everything is weighing down on me and fuuuck i just don't know how to deal
unfortunately for me, all the mental stuff has started to effect (affect?) my physical state of being. crap.
this is like a cold to the EXTREME!! but in no way exciting...
stuffy nose + having to use my inhaler + weird voice + coughing uncontrollably + fucked up eyes = death.
and i can't skip school this entire week either to just sleep and get better...fuck IB orals, they're making me ill.
thanx a lot stupid program...thanx a lot.
</3 |
|
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 26th, 2006|06:09 pm] |
| [ | Feelin' Kinda |
| |  embarrassed | ] |
| [ | Listening To |
| | *Hidden in Plane View-Bleed For You* | ] |
i'm pissed/embarassed that i had no choice but to purchase a Cher song off of iTunes to put into tanya's, shea's, and my video for humanities...
there was just no other way...it had to be done
<3 |
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| *he walks the razors edge* |
[Mar. 14th, 2006|07:38 pm] |
| [ | Feelin' Kinda |
| |  distressed | ] |
| [ | Listening To |
| | *M.S.I.-Kill the Rock* | ] |
oh god...they found me....
i'll return and explain....
that was a close one, i just realized that i'm very much like a cat when i'm around certain people. if that makes any sense at all. when i get home i say hi to everyone then quietly slink upstairs and hide...
and in explaining what i wrote at the beginning, my family and i (including blake-ins) were hanging out at home and the door swings open and our neighbors walked in, or more...they screamed-in if that's at all possible. i love this family, we've been neighbors since before my brother was born, when we moved from our old condo they followed us here a few years later..how cute is that? and they have three adorable kids who i've known since they were all born but....
they tend to scream and yell a lot
and that makes me nervous. so what do i do?
i RUN upstairs and hide. sad? very, but i don't care. then they ran upstairs and i was thisclose to hiding in the closet...then my mom yelled at me to come downstairs so of course i had to, ah well, they're cool...i just feel meh i dunno around them, and others i guess.
it was just a weird observation that i had of myself today. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 11th, 2006|10:39 am] |
| [ | Feelin' Kinda |
| |  amused | ] |
| [ | Listening To |
| | *The Spill Canvas-All Hail the Heartbreaker* | ] |
i'm falling apart
and most of it is my fault :/
last night i got yelled at by my mom cause i never take my contacts out and now my eyes are all bloodshot and it's really hard to see...
i cannot stop coughing (ask keyana...she knows)
my head is throbbing
my throat hurts also.
woohoo, hopefully i don't hafta go to the doctor about my eyes
<3 |
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| i don't like reggae...i LOVE it! |
[Feb. 7th, 2006|07:11 pm] |
| [ | Feelin' Kinda |
| |  lonely | ] |
| [ | Listening To |
| | *Sondre Lerche-Track You Down* | ] |
trying to avoid mark
which is sad because he's really nice, cute, funny blah blah blah
but...i just feel weird around him.
keyana made me a weird stick-like contraption today with my name, two hearts, and a unicorn on it
got all my stuff to do taxes
the fuckers are only giving me back like 200
krucli apparently "worries about me"...he says i'm "falling off the edge" and that i'm a "punk rocker"...
doing a reenactment of a scene from Hamlet with tanya maddi allie and nicole, i suggested doing a monologue...having allie and nicole reading the part together while maddi tanya and i would repeat certain words in the background with a sweet interpretative dance. oh yea i forgot the best part of it: we're beatnicks (sp?)
i'm way stoked
down came the sky and all you did was blink
<3 |
|
|
| X-Mas |
[Dec. 26th, 2005|05:39 pm] |
| [ | Listening To |
| | Ugly Casanova *So Long to the Holidays* | ] |
i should definately be trying to finish up my stupid World Lit. 1 paper but I haven't got the heart or the energy to do it. So I'll put it off for another day and spend my time on livejournal and myspace...
my dad got my brother a unicycle....good job dad this is only going to end in blood and tears, lots of them. i have nothing else to say really, i just think that the unicycle thing is hilarious
im gonna go check my myspace now...
<3 |
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|
| yeah im an emo kid...so blow me |
[Dec. 18th, 2005|08:32 pm] |
| [ | Feelin' Kinda |
| | Heartbroken | ] |
| [ | Listening To |
| | Someday You'll be Loved *Death Cab for Cutie* | ] |
so i need a place to rant...cause i normally don't cry about things i just think about them until it drives me absolutely insane. so i broke up with adam yesterday, it was his decision even though i was the one who decided that we needed to go on a break. the thing that sucks about it is that im in love with him but he just doesn't care about me at all. i dont know why he didnt dump me months ago when he figured out that he didnt really like me at all and that i annoyed the fuck out of him. whatever...
no, not whatever...
so i just tried to talk to him about it and he goes on about how we always do the same stuff and the "fire is going out"...well yeah, that usually happens when you've been going out with the same person for a while. but i told him that i really wanted it to work and that i was willing to work at it but it was pointless if he didnt want to work too, so i just told him that we should go on a break
which is exactly the very very very very last thing i want to do right now, it breaks my heart that he didnt even put up a fight with me about it, he just said "ok"
i hate looking at my phone all the time and running to answer it just for the random hope that it may be him calling or txting me...or staying online even though im not talking to anyone waiting for him to message me. im not going to do it for him, he hasta want to get back together cause he already knows how i feel. im not going to be a creepy stalker and check his fucking myspace every two seconds or drive by his house or whatever. all of my friends and family hated him which makes it so much worse...now they just have another reason to despise him sure he made me feel like shit a lot of the time but honestly i dont give a flying fuck cause for some unknown reason i fell in love with him...and thats that end of story
and it doesnt help that im fucking listening to death cab for cutie
i wish you loved me back |
|
|
| Priyanka Tagged Me |
[Oct. 12th, 2005|05:28 pm] |
| [ | Feelin' Kinda |
| | heartbroken | ] |
| [ | Listening To |
| | Rufio *Road to Recovery* | ] |
The point of this is to write down *10 things* that make you happy and tag *6 people* to do the same...
1. Getting txt messages from him
2. Watching re-runs of Wildboyz and Jerry Springer
3. Being enlightened daily by Dr. Chris
4. Playing with clay and talking with Keyana in ceramics
5. My sister
6. Movie trailors
7. Having somebody hug me and meaning it
8. A brand new pack of 27s (uggh)
9. Driving alone/listening to loud music/singing at the top of my lungs
10. New crushes ;)
And I choose...
1. Jenn
2. Keyana
3. Anna
4. Brianna
5. Jeff
6. You |
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|
| The Natalie-Ending Story |
[Sep. 21st, 2005|03:37 pm] |
| [ | Feelin' Kinda |
| | chipper | ] |
| [ | Listening To |
| | *Bloc Party-Like Eating Glass* | ] |
Yeah, i stole that title thing from david neale...i thought it was cute, if you dont know about it you take a title of a movie with the first letter of your name as the first letter of one of the words in the title and replace it with your name ie the never ending story= the natalie ending story...nice. So back by popular demand I have decided to once again update. So on Saturday I quit smoking for good and it's been going well, yesterday I was starting to freak out and really wanted one but i resisted. But today after school I decided to break into my emergency pack and have one to celebrate the fact that i had a good day at school. I might just have one a week...but i promise to keep it to just one at most a week, to be on the safe side.
French-failed my quiz but theres that cute guy from the Isle of Man...majorly makes up for the F on that quiz
Math-talked to Anna about college and didn't hafta take notes on math stuff that i dont understand
Biology-made molecule models with kevin...always fun we kept on yelling at each other hahaha
Humanities-got the skit thing overwith and got to wear boxers as a costume, and adam txted me which is nice because i always think that he hates me for some unknow reason and i get reassured when he does...txted the rest of the day :)
Lunch-listened to Bloc Party cause they're amazing and make me happy
Ceramics-hung out with anne and keyanna and talked as usual, took some sweet pictures...cereamics is always the highlight of my day
MUN-left to go hang out with Mr McClure as he gave a lecture on Cyrano de Bergerac great book but i have decided that cyrano is a pussy
later i have a night debate to go to which should be interesting, adrian will be there [ Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<score!!>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] Yeah, i stole that title thing from david neale...i thought it was cute, if you dont know about it you take a title of a movie with the first letter of your name as the first letter of one of the words in the title and replace it with your name ie the never ending story= the natalie ending story...nice. So back by popular demand <Keyanna> I have decided to once again update. So on Saturday I quit smoking for good and it's been going well, yesterday I was starting to freak out and really wanted one but i resisted. But today after school I decided to break into my emergency pack and have one to celebrate the fact that i had a good day at school. I might just have one a week...but i promise to keep it to just one at most a week, to be on the safe side.
French-failed my quiz but theres that cute guy from the Isle of Man...majorly makes up for the F on that quiz
Math-talked to Anna about college and didn't hafta take notes on math stuff that i dont understand
Biology-made molecule models with kevin...always fun we kept on yelling at each other hahaha
Humanities-got the skit thing overwith and got to wear boxers as a costume, and adam txted me which is nice because i always think that he hates me for some unknow reason and i get reassured when he does...txted the rest of the day :)
Lunch-listened to Bloc Party cause they're amazing and make me happy
Ceramics-hung out with anne and keyanna and talked as usual, took some sweet pictures...cereamics is always the highlight of my day
MUN-left to go hang out with Mr McClure as he gave a lecture on Cyrano de Bergerac <sp> great book but i have decided that cyrano is a pussy
later i have a night debate to go to which should be interesting, adrian will be there <score!!> and alex and i are like in charge of this one cause our kids are chairing...sweetness.
Keyanna is amazing if you dont know already. weve decided to try heroine together hahaha and have another party but minus the obnoxious water-polo guys cause they were...obnoxious as i already stated. alex is cleaning the house right now while i write this buah haha serves her right for ditching me for lunch that crazy wench. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 14th, 2005|09:13 pm] |
Pet peeve #11:
When people still ask me if I would like a "kidz menu" at every single restaurant I go to. Do I look like I'm ten years old smart one? Because, last time I checked, there is an age limit and gosh darnit I'm only what...seven? eight? years older than that little limit so yeah, I'd love to take that menu and you can shove it where the sun don't shine. Although, getting the same amount of food for half price, plus a toy, re-usable cup, and a crazy straw is almost worth the humiliation.... |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 23rd, 2005|09:15 pm] |
| [ | Feelin' Kinda |
| | embarrassed | ] |
| [ | Listening To |
| | Ludacris *Get Back* | ] |
Apparently I turn bright red really quickly whenever I get embarassed...how I learned this is...
I was working and talking to one of my co-workers,
and we're bagging this lady's food.
after we were done I told her to have a "nice day" because we hafta...and because i mean it
then she turns to me and says very loudly:
"THANK YOU!! YOU'RE SOOOO BEAUTIFUL! YOU HAVE EYES LIKE A TIGER!!!"
To which the response to one of the male workers was "yea a tiger in the bedroom".
Oh my goodness I turned soo red and my co-workers started laughing so bad...
so now my new nickname is "Tiger" |
|
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 21st, 2005|07:46 pm] |
| [ | Feelin' Kinda |
| |  sad | ] |
| [ | Listening To |
| | 50 Cent *P.I.M.P.* | ] |
So I have two major things to say
Numero Uno: Rockstar is basically crack in a liquid form....oh that sweet sweet drug. I think I'm addicted.
Two: I think (know) I need help with a guy. Darn...I'm like obsessed. Well not obsessed but more like enamored...he's the greatest! Not really that cute but I'm kinda over the attractive thing, but just a nice, and funny guy. He seems to always have my back. But...I have never told a guy that I like him...so I kinda don't know how to, but then again should I? It would make things SUPER awkward because cough *we work together* cough. Yet, I just want him to know. It's so confusing!! You know that one song by those hot twin guys Evan and Jaron *Crazy For This Girl*? if you don't, go and download it from iTunes (yes it's worth the 99 cents you cheap bastards) anywho they play it at work ALL the time and it's like they're playing it to tease with my mind because it's exactly what I'm thinking...only instead of being crazy for this *girl* i'm crazy for this *guy*. This cannot be healthy. Any advice? And don't say something like "OMG!!?!?!?! Natalie! Just TELLLLLL HIM! LOL JK!" that'll make me angry. And I'll not talk to you ever again. Although some of you would like that but you're over it. Ok I'm over my little thing, I'm allowed at most two "love" livejournal entries each year, so I just used my first one.
In conclusion: I don't know what you heard about me
But a B***h can't get a dollar outta me
No Cadillac, no perms, you can't see
That I'm a motherf***ing P-I-M-P (just kidding)
Curse you 50 Cent and your catchy lyrics!!!! |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 16th, 2005|04:41 pm] |
| [ | Feelin' Kinda |
| | sick | ] |
| [ | Listening To |
| | Death Cab for Cutie *Title and Registration* | ] |
*personally, i don't believe that would be good for anyone to see...* |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Feb. 9th, 2005|05:36 pm] |
| [ | Feelin' Kinda |
| | happy | ] |
| [ | Listening To |
| | Jimmy Eat World *Work* | ] |
Check out this band guys...they're tres good. <3 Natty |
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